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all pictures taken by Tiffani Herpel.

Thursday Listday

10 Things I Want to Do This Summer.

1. Learn to drive a manual car. I understand HOW to do it, but I've never been given a clutch to ruin in practice.

2. New colors in my house.

3. Go to the Grand Canyon and Bryce Canyon. (I made it to the gate of the northern end of the Grand once, only to find out it had been closed for the winter 2 days prior. boo.)

4. Run a mile. (I DO NOT run. So this would be a fun one.)

5. See bands I love in real life. (I have tickets for The Shins in May!!!)

6. Be platinum blonde.

7. 15 regular push ups.

8. Make something (start to finish) with my own 2 hands.

9. Finish the majority of books on my 'unread' shelf. (I just keep buying more and adding to it... I'll never catch up!)

10. Become a regular church goer.

thursday listday

yep. really doing it. 5 things I wish I were.

1. A better friend. I feel like I'm improving, but for the most part, I get so stuck in my own head, that sometimes I don't have room for anybody else.

2. A traveler. I want to put all of my money into it. But I don't have a partner, and I'm just not brave enough to go it alone.

3. A master in self mastery. I wish I were more strict with myself. I know it would lead to more happiness and better character... but I can't help but let myself do what ever I want.

4. Completely fluent in another language. Language intrigues me.

5. Talented. Ok. Everyone has talents... blah blah blah. I just wish mine were more apparent. I have a friend who is good at everything she takes interest in doing. Seriously. She's freaking awesome. My sister is a talented writer and photographer. My mother extremely creative in her photography and art. People sing, people dance... and I can't stick with anything long enough to get good or 'passionate' about it. So I guess talented isn't what I wish I were, I wish I had a longer attention span.

thursday listday

In the spirit of trying to think good positive things about myself, today's list is
10 things I'm good at.

p.s. (not pre meditated in anyway.)

1. Choosing good media. (books, movies, music) I feel like this could be less arbitrary than it sounds like it should be. Like some people just really have terrible taste... am I so wrong for thinking mine is superior? ha. -off to a good start.

2. Being witty.

3. Not smoking for 3 months. Which means, although I think for the most part I have no self control, there IS a smidgen of it in me.

4. Customer service. Although I don't really love to do it, i am good at it.

5. Changing things on a whim. Hair color, place of residence, style of clothing preferred. ha. I don't know if this is a good one?

6. Being empathetic. Not just having an empathetic ear, but truly caring about other people's suffering sometimes too much.

7. Speaking Spanish with very little formal education.

8. Exercising. Not that I'm super physically fit, but just that I really like doing it, and am usually pretty good about sticking with it.

9. Working hard.

10. Being open minded. But hopefully not too much.

This was really hard! I spent a long time sitting and staring at walls. All the while thinking about how my next list will be things I wish I was... or things I need to improve on.
Sad that I don't give myself credit. Like ever.
Are you better at knowing what you're good at?

poemday

this one is a story...

in the basement of that place, the echo-ey concrete,
the click clack of your shoes/sneakers no less on the floor.
The dirty, dark other rooms,
mysterious, and feeling like a scene from a cheap horror film.
first person filmed.
someone might scream in a minute.
No.
this is where my heart snaps and my head yells "RUN!"

this is not a horror story.
in fact, there is little, even, of suspense.
it is a measure. a test.
of my weakness.
i went down there in search of a fix.

fix nixed like a ton of bricks as your bag of tricks and your thumb and finger clicks. rub your chest quick, with Vicks. don't mix the licks.

its paramount.

click clack-your shoes
snip snap-my heart

and i'm still here.
i'm not running.
why am i not running?

i'm drinking you up,
weaving the threads,
tongue, cheek, teeth.
leaving the dregs.

its what i do.
YOU untangle the webs.

i am not good. i just wanted some of you to feel high.

and now the snow is here, stealing my spring.

thursday listday

10 Things I've Learned About Myself Now That I Have Time To Think About Who I Am.

1. Although I wore make-up almost everyday for the last 2 years I don't really like putting it on and.... I think I look just as pretty without it.
2. This is not newly learned- I like painting my fingernails.
3. I really enjoy live music and miss experiencing it on the reg.
4. I have no hobbies.
5. Living in this new town I have nothing to complain about, therefore nothing to talk about. I'm quieter and more content. I spend a lot more time inside my own head.
6. I miss speaking Spanish everyday.
7. I like having a 'crush' on boys. Like in middle school, if a guy was attractive and nice, he was your new crush. Its fun. And more fun the more mystery involved.
8. That anti-anxiety medication is okay. And that I'm not less of a person for needing it sometimes.
9. Nag Champa is my favorite smell.
10. That right now I'd rather listen to Bon Iver than almost anything else. Its weird how I recycle my favorites.

poemday

Oh. This basement is cold. Dark and dank
and all the things you'd expect a basement to be.
Darling, I was quiet before, but now I'll be frank
with you. You deserve the honesty.
I'm buried in this blanket.

I'm walking away from the scene. That car crash
disaster area; that dream I had of rolling and rolling
and not dying. Some mad dash
to the life I was looking for. The one with meaning.
Credit or cash?

Here I am now. The wind is talking to me,
ambiguously, subtly, the wisest sound
is the delicacy of the wind chimes. Chaotic harmony
Now, look at me! Crawling up, soon to be found
Walking and walking until I'm seen.