receipt scribble

things found in my bag on busted up crinkled pieces of scratch paper and receipts

Sunday, September 2, 2012

End of summer

With the end of summer drawing OMINOUSLY near... with its cold sock-wearing mornings, and its nights getting longer and chillier... and my not being socially allowed to wear white pants after tomorrow (that's the clincher)... I've come to reflecting. In April I made a list of things I wanted to accomplish this summer, almost none of which I even attempted. I can't decide if I'm mad about it or not because this is what I did do this summer.

-I read books and in those books I drank the sweetness of Dandelion Wine and smelt bumblebees and came to realize I was alive. I learned the history of Jesus from beginning to end and the history of the philosophies of men from beginning to end. I learned about an idea of Siddhartha and the completeness of a river. I was an elitist secretary in pre-depression Manhattan; complete with gin drinking and jazz clubs and flapper jackets. I lived so many lives in the hammock under the tree, or with a hot cup of tea on the couch, or curled up with a billion blankets on my bed.

-I saw the Shins and The Head and The Heart in Salt Lake with my sister and brother-in-law. And I was reminded how concerts are almost always way better in my head than they are in person, but that there's always a high, always an electricity at live shows that makes it worth it. And to be honest, that was probably the most fun weekend I've had all summer hanging with my sister and brother.

-I have taken all necessary steps towards an official 'divorce' and its been so freeing.

-After much studying and reading about health I have become a vegetarian.

-I've walked and walked and walked.

-I listened to a billion different genres of music which makes me realize an end of summer playlist is in order.

-I adopted a puppy and then commenced to give him up for adoption because the pug wouldn't let me keep him. I know. I think it was the only time I've cried all summer.

-I learned many many many many important things this summer.
2 of which I want to share with you... also two instances where my heart has caught fire.

- How after a lifetime of listening to my mind and deciding things with my whim and my thoughts and my brain, i have learned how to listen to my heart. And why it is important to listen to my heart and spirit.. I learned about how our brains our flawed. And how our spirits, if we care for them, are perfect. Your soul will not lead you away from truth but only towards it. Your brain is flawed. My brain is flawed. This was a hard lesson for me to learn... I've never been okay with accepting something that my brain couldn't accept and understand as 'logic'. It'll take me all day to go into this.. but just know in listening to my heart/spirit my mind has been enlightened. And sitting at church with the choir singing "I know that my Redeemer Lives" can catch all of it on fire... Its ineffable. But also, it was only for me... and you'll feel it someday too if you stop trying to figure everything out with your head. God is in your spirit.
-The second thing I learned was the difference between 'feeling' someone with your body and loving someone with your BEING. The right touch can send shock waves charging up the center of your body... Like a very quick and potent high. This might have been my deciding factor in choosing mates... The chemistry between us. But like any high, there's a point in which you have to come down and I came down to complete incompatibility in some cases. In others, a person I hardly recognized. Someone I wasn't even attracted to let alone the person I 'loved'. The reason, I felt them with only my body my whole being wasn't involved. Then "ZING! a resurrection!" This person whom I've always known and always to some degree cared deeply about, comes a long and with my pen in my hand, and blue smeared ink on my hands, and paper and paper and paper, and letters and letters and letters, my heart finds away out of my chest just to soar. There is a lump in my throat, and a feeling like crying from feeling to much. In my chest, in place of a beating thumping heart, he has placed kindling, and lit it all on fire. Its a feeling like home. Its not lightening, or thunder... its quiet... but its there screaming at your face nonetheless.

The difference in feeling is not in anyway able to be confused with the charge or electricity of the body. It is night and day. It is based solely on intellect which is 'of the sun'. Not the body which is 'of the night'.
This summer, I have fallen in love.. and right now, its only a daydream. But just you wait.

This post is more a documentation, for me, I've realized. Not for you. But thank you for reading it.

Tuesday, August 7, 2012


-I can go hours and hours in a day without hearing the sound of my own voice, except to chide my little animals or praise them. I get so stuck in my own head. I get stuck in the right now. I get stuck wasting hours and hours of time looking up or listening to things that aren't real on the internet...or looking at or listening to art. Appreciating it ever so quietly with not even the slightest outlet of my own. I bombard my roommates with the 'happenings' in my life so as to almost document my existence somehow. I guess so that some human besides myself knows I'm living my life. That things happen to me.

-I'm not nearly so despondent as that sounded.

-I have a new animal. A little Australian Shepard mix. I named him Beam, no. not 'Bean'. Like sun'beam' or laser'beam' or for those of you schooled in the art of good music, like Sam 'Beam' of Iron and Wine. He's a bundle of fur and energy and curiosity. Sometimes I forget he's only been in existence for 2 months... He's so new to this planet! He's figuring out the limits and allowances of his body and environment. Its kind of beautiful, and sometimes patience draining. I'm smitten.

(picture by Whitney Johnson)

-I listened to the song "Miriam" by Norah Jones today, and it ripped my heart out. Both for the person experiencing the pain in the song and the person she wrote it to... Listen to the song, or look up the lyrics. Lately the position of the culprit and not the victim has been magnified for me. What if you made a mistake and no reparations could be made? Or if that mistake or years of youthful mistakes could only be repaired by years locked away? I feel so grateful that my mistakes have had only the most simplest of natural consequences, most of which were fueled only by my own guilt and anxiety.

-I bought Matisyahu's new album today and its awesome. I also got one, at the owner of Groovacious (the music shop)'s suggestion, called Super Heavy. Also awesome.

-I almost always want to go back to school. I'm bored too much, and a little bit obsessed with not wasting time. Will somebody please tell me what to go for? If I get a degree I want to use it!

-I want to collect and save every beautiful thing I see or read or hear.

-I want to create and write beautiful things. I get words and phrases stuck in my head all the time, or ideas, and I don't write them down and they get lost back in the current of thought in my head. I see so many beautiful things, the strange twist of the root of a tree, a lonely dandelion ready to be blown off into a sunset, the warmest of light spilling from a dark house radiating onto a dark front lawn, so many things and I don't bring my camera, and if I had it, it wouldn't look as arresting on film as it does in my head anyway. I envy your translation. Your ability to bring to art, life. You know who you are.

-I have a fascination with love stories right now. With love in general. I keep asking people I'm not close to personal questions like how they knew, or what fun things are part of their love story. Or if their heart ever felt like it was on fire. Or if they ever cried from too much feeling.

-I also have a fascination for letter writing. Its a dead art. And I'm resurrecting it. The closest of bonds can come from correspondence with ONLY a pen and a piece of paper. You should try it.

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Atmosphere - You (unedited)

for the first time in my life I'm actually into hip hop and rap. Like can't get enough.
Not the hoes and bitches and violence and money rap.
I'm not sure what sparked it,  (I've been exposed to it all my life, but now its 'moving' me) listening its like def poetry set to rhythm and beat, and I envy the ability to write like that! What if there is a rapper in me trying to get out? Can you just see it?

Wednesday, May 16, 2012


-blog reading is a new favorite thing to do of mine. Its like getting to know characters in a book, mixed with the obsession our
generation has with reality TV.
-I have successfully completed one of my end of summer goals. I made something start to finish... A crocheted bag that I am
actually very proud of.
-I also just finished the book Jesus the Christ. Its an in depth study of the life and works of Jesus Christ. Its biased towards the LDS faith, (it is written by one of the apostles) But, without a doubt I'd recommend it to anyone. Its like a history text book. It leaves no question unanswered.
-my favorite spot in Cedar City is the hammock under our giant apricot tree in the back yard. Last night I ventured under it in the dark to eat ice cream and watch the last slivers of light peek their way through the transparent leaves. Its such a beautiful spot. I've fallen into my own head many a time there.
-I have an affinity for words. Right now my favorite is 'inmediatamente' which is in Spanish and it means immediately. But sometimes I just whisper it to myself because I like how it feels coming out of my mouth.
-I'm starting to have second thoughts about being platinum blonde. I don't want to fry my hair off my head.
-Yesterday I spent $15 at Walmart to develop a roll of film. Outrageous. And. As film goes, only half of the pictures turned out how I wanted them to. I still hardly think I'll make the switch to digital.

-just a few of the pictures.

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Things I've Learned from My Mama.

Since its Mother's Day... this post is for you, Mama!

Things I've learned from my mom...

1. How to be pretty .I'm not talking about the inevitable passing of genes. Since I was a little girl I was fascinated by Mom's beauty regimen. We'd all come downstairs and sit on the couch while she'd sit in the chair, caboodle on her lap, legs out in the air, putting on her 'face'. The transformation and even the process was something intriguing to me. Her hair was big and curly and beautiful (still is) and her makeup always well done, and just so. She's always kept up with the newest trends and fashions without being one of those obnoxious trying-to-be-twenty Moms. She's never let herself go.

2. How to be kind. I can honestly say, my mom doesn't bad mouth people. I've never once ever ever ever seen her be unkind. She is compassionate and giving of her time and things. She's always been a prime example of a genuinely nice and good person. She gives strangers compliments, and becomes friends with anyone!

3. How to be clean. This one isn't something I'm very good at. But something I'm grateful to have learned. Growing up, our house was always spic and span spotless. Mom kept things so clean. She'd deep clean every single friday. Everything in the house was organized, dusted, swept and mopped. This is a hard thing to live up to!

4.How to not be lazy. My mom hasn't always had a paying job but she's always been a hard worker. We had a home cooked meal every night. Our house was clean and spotless, laundry done and folded and put away, the yard was always perfect, and along with all of this, Mom has almost always had a daily workout regimen.

5.How to be tough. Not from working out. Mom has always had some weird or normal health thing afflicting her. Ever since I was little I remember Mom having surgery for something or other. From the hysterectomy, to sinus problems, to a wrist surgery, and a knee surgery. Her recovery time was hardly existent, because she'd be up and doing things immediately after. She's cheerful and uncomplaining. She's stood up to the most painful of losses, the loss of a child and later in her life, her mother. She did not lose her self at the pain of it. She's a fighter.

6.How to be patient. As if having 3 kids and doing all of the above wasn't hard enough, one of her kids has social and mental disabilities. My brother, Bradley, the sweetest ball of sunshine to bless a life, isn't always sweet. And people weren't always sweet to him. My mother has withstood and stood by my brother and the pain and cruelty of bully kids and bully adults. My mom has had patience for NOT ONLY his disability, but the disability of human nature... She's not judgemental or vindictive. Only patient, and its something so beautiful to me.

7.How to be creative. Always Mom was making something. She has a gift for making something out of nothing. She was always painting ceramics, painting canvas, crocheting beautiful afghans, re teaching herself piano, and taking brilliant pictures,. Never in my life has my mom been without some sort of art project. Its such a light to grow up with... Who would I be without a deep and awe inspired appreciation for art?

8.How to listen to music. Music was not something we just had as background music in our house. We blared it and danced and sang. Mom always kept up with the times, and still does. We'd listen to music in the car and the house so loud and so fun. We each had our own music player in our rooms, and it was a requirement in our household to be cool with music.

9.How to be yourself Mom is herself no matter who or what's going on. She's does not censor herself for the benefit of the people around her. She is proud of who she is, and does not embarrass easily. (something I wish I was!).

10.How to be a good mom. If I'm half the mother she is, my kids will be set. She's dedicated her entire life to us, and, Mom, I want you to know how full and warm my heart is in gratitude to you! The longest list in the world couldn't tell it. You're amazing!!!

What has your mom taught you?

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Force of good.

I saw the trailer to this documentary today. Just randomly happened upon it, and decided to watch it. I haven't seen the whole film, only the bits and pieces displayed on the website. I couldn't help but feel some 'stirrings'. My eyes welled up, and I couldn't stop myself from this weird and sudden out pour of emotion.

I'm sure the profundity of only the trailer is lacking in comparison to the whole movie, but it struck all the right chords.
A deep and intensely illuminated spark and desire in me to be nothing but a force of good. For every ripple I cause to be a sweet one. How great it would be to not just be a good person. But a FORCE of good.
This has been on my mind a lot lately. Just that phrase inspired from wind or air or something. IN my head. FORCE OF GOOD.

Today I will start. Today simply by being 'impeccable' with my words. No more shit talking. (something that has seen a great improvement lately.) No more snide sarcastic comments. What would it be like to be funny and not at someone else's expense? What would it be like to bond over a mutual love, rather than a mutual dislike? What would it be like to stop being "anti"?

Will you try this with me?

Sunday, April 29, 2012


all pictures taken by Tiffani Herpel.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Thursday Listday

10 Things I Want to Do This Summer.

1. Learn to drive a manual car. I understand HOW to do it, but I've never been given a clutch to ruin in practice.

2. New colors in my house.

3. Go to the Grand Canyon and Bryce Canyon. (I made it to the gate of the northern end of the Grand once, only to find out it had been closed for the winter 2 days prior. boo.)

4. Run a mile. (I DO NOT run. So this would be a fun one.)

5. See bands I love in real life. (I have tickets for The Shins in May!!!)

6. Be platinum blonde.

7. 15 regular push ups.

8. Make something (start to finish) with my own 2 hands.

9. Finish the majority of books on my 'unread' shelf. (I just keep buying more and adding to it... I'll never catch up!)

10. Become a regular church goer.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

thursday listday

yep. really doing it. 5 things I wish I were.

1. A better friend. I feel like I'm improving, but for the most part, I get so stuck in my own head, that sometimes I don't have room for anybody else.

2. A traveler. I want to put all of my money into it. But I don't have a partner, and I'm just not brave enough to go it alone.

3. A master in self mastery. I wish I were more strict with myself. I know it would lead to more happiness and better character... but I can't help but let myself do what ever I want.

4. Completely fluent in another language. Language intrigues me.

5. Talented. Ok. Everyone has talents... blah blah blah. I just wish mine were more apparent. I have a friend who is good at everything she takes interest in doing. Seriously. She's freaking awesome. My sister is a talented writer and photographer. My mother extremely creative in her photography and art. People sing, people dance... and I can't stick with anything long enough to get good or 'passionate' about it. So I guess talented isn't what I wish I were, I wish I had a longer attention span.

Thursday, April 5, 2012

thursday listday

In the spirit of trying to think good positive things about myself, today's list is
10 things I'm good at.

p.s. (not pre meditated in anyway.)

1. Choosing good media. (books, movies, music) I feel like this could be less arbitrary than it sounds like it should be. Like some people just really have terrible taste... am I so wrong for thinking mine is superior? ha. -off to a good start.

2. Being witty.

3. Not smoking for 3 months. Which means, although I think for the most part I have no self control, there IS a smidgen of it in me.

4. Customer service. Although I don't really love to do it, i am good at it.

5. Changing things on a whim. Hair color, place of residence, style of clothing preferred. ha. I don't know if this is a good one?

6. Being empathetic. Not just having an empathetic ear, but truly caring about other people's suffering sometimes too much.

7. Speaking Spanish with very little formal education.

8. Exercising. Not that I'm super physically fit, but just that I really like doing it, and am usually pretty good about sticking with it.

9. Working hard.

10. Being open minded. But hopefully not too much.

This was really hard! I spent a long time sitting and staring at walls. All the while thinking about how my next list will be things I wish I was... or things I need to improve on.
Sad that I don't give myself credit. Like ever.
Are you better at knowing what you're good at?

Sunday, April 1, 2012


this one is a story...

in the basement of that place, the echo-ey concrete,
the click clack of your shoes/sneakers no less on the floor.
The dirty, dark other rooms,
mysterious, and feeling like a scene from a cheap horror film.
first person filmed.
someone might scream in a minute.
this is where my heart snaps and my head yells "RUN!"

this is not a horror story.
in fact, there is little, even, of suspense.
it is a measure. a test.
of my weakness.
i went down there in search of a fix.

fix nixed like a ton of bricks as your bag of tricks and your thumb and finger clicks. rub your chest quick, with Vicks. don't mix the licks.

its paramount.

click clack-your shoes
snip snap-my heart

and i'm still here.
i'm not running.
why am i not running?

i'm drinking you up,
weaving the threads,
tongue, cheek, teeth.
leaving the dregs.

its what i do.
YOU untangle the webs.

i am not good. i just wanted some of you to feel high.

and now the snow is here, stealing my spring.

Thursday, March 29, 2012

thursday listday

10 Things I've Learned About Myself Now That I Have Time To Think About Who I Am.

1. Although I wore make-up almost everyday for the last 2 years I don't really like putting it on and.... I think I look just as pretty without it.
2. This is not newly learned- I like painting my fingernails.
3. I really enjoy live music and miss experiencing it on the reg.
4. I have no hobbies.
5. Living in this new town I have nothing to complain about, therefore nothing to talk about. I'm quieter and more content. I spend a lot more time inside my own head.
6. I miss speaking Spanish everyday.
7. I like having a 'crush' on boys. Like in middle school, if a guy was attractive and nice, he was your new crush. Its fun. And more fun the more mystery involved.
8. That anti-anxiety medication is okay. And that I'm not less of a person for needing it sometimes.
9. Nag Champa is my favorite smell.
10. That right now I'd rather listen to Bon Iver than almost anything else. Its weird how I recycle my favorites.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012


Oh. This basement is cold. Dark and dank
and all the things you'd expect a basement to be.
Darling, I was quiet before, but now I'll be frank
with you. You deserve the honesty.
I'm buried in this blanket.

I'm walking away from the scene. That car crash
disaster area; that dream I had of rolling and rolling
and not dying. Some mad dash
to the life I was looking for. The one with meaning.
Credit or cash?

Here I am now. The wind is talking to me,
ambiguously, subtly, the wisest sound
is the delicacy of the wind chimes. Chaotic harmony
Now, look at me! Crawling up, soon to be found
Walking and walking until I'm seen.

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Simple question, Simple answer.

March 27
When was the last time you felt like you were on top of the world?

Its been too long since I have felt like this. Really. Right now I feel like I'm waiting for something to happen. Or I guess knowing something is going to happen.
The first thing that comes to mind is being in my car, alone, windows down. Some gets-you-high song is on and my hands are out the window and I'm singing. And something in me changes. I'm free and flying.
And this happens all the time.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

thursday listday

5 people i would like to meet. In no order of importance or otherwise. This is also not "of all time" its just "right off the top of my head".

1. Justin Vernon.

Not because Bon Iver is my favorite band ever. They're up there... but because I recently saw YouTube video of he and another member of his band performing in a quiet studio, and I was both moved an attracted. I want him to play a song and feed off of his artistic energy.

2. Anne Sexton.

Easily my favorite poet. She broke barriers for women writers. She was open and flamboyant about what she wrote about. Its funny, because I doubt I would have been friends with her. I'm such a conservative person, someone who gets uncomfortable by anything outside my own comfort zone, the opposite is what I admire about her. I just want to study her.

3. Mahatma Ghandi.

His pacifistic approach to change is beyond admirable. Its clearly inspiring. I think i admire him also because he is so different from I. I'm short fused and with hardly a concept of self mastery at all. He said 'no' to his own human urges for the good of his community. I think conversation with him would be enlightening.

4. Jane Austen

I feel like I absolutely would have been good friends with her. Her books are among my favorite, I relate to almost all of her protagonists. I want to go for a walk with her. I want to know how she feels about the differences in our time and hers. If she's proud or appalled.

5. Gael Garcia Bernal

This one is entirely superficial. I don't think there's anyone more beautiful than this man. I'd like to give him a kiss, and find out about his quirks to humanize him a little. Maybe he can teach me what else I need to know in Spanish.

Monday, March 5, 2012


hand out the window
out into the frigid air.
the cold tingling numbness.
the bite.
this is how i know i'm alive.

teeth clenched.
my jaw sore with the pressure.
fists punching. eyes angry.
the fight.
this is how i know i'm alive.

saying no.
saying yes.
she'll give in.
she's alive.

flower bursting blooming swearing daring to explode in her head.
a dance. a dream. a body ignited.
an ache. a wonder. give me something.

she is quiet.
she's found her peace.
a moment here... sitting.




here i am.


whats more fitting poetry than poetic lyrics to a song.

"re: Stacks"

This my excavation and today is kumran
Everything that happens from now on
This is pouring rain
This is paralyzed

I keep throwing it down two-hunded at a time
It's hard to find it when you knew it
When your money's gone
And you're drunk as hell

On your back with your racks as the stacks are your load
In the back and the racks and the stacks of your load
In the back with your racks and you're un-stacking your load

Well I've been twisting to the sun and the moon
I needed to replace
The fountain in the front yard is rusted out
All my love was down
In a frozen ground

There's a black crow sitting across from me
His wiry legs are crossed
He is dangling my keys, he even fakes a toss
Whatever could it be
That has brought me to this loss?

On your back with your racks as the stacks are your load
In the back and the racks and the stacks of your load
In the back with your racks and you're un-stacking your load

This is not the sound of a new man or crispy realization
It's the sound of the unlocking and the lift away
Your love will be
Safe with me

Bon Iver

Saturday, March 3, 2012


With the promise of springtime and windows rolled down-music blared-barefoot... I've been feeling nostalgic. Maybe its boredom, regret, old age, but flashes of moments of time find their way into the clutter that is my head. Mostly ignited by music and smells.
*the smell of nag champa and looking at fancy rocks.
*a kiss on the roof of a church and "God give us love in the time that we have"
*side walk chalk and a temporarily vandalized skate park
*Billie Holiday a-blaring on the drive back from Park City.
*Listening to Iron and Wine's "Woman King" a hundred times on the the drive back from Salt Lake and feeling a self induced sorrow.
*"Wave of Mutilation" and being a rockstar.
*Orange juice and blenders.
*Cigarettes and a furry brown couch.
*rush of wind through my hair and swinging at bluff street park.

Are we these memories? These sparks of implacable deja vu moments when we are not here - in the world - but in our heads re living something profoundly beautiful. And who thought this is what we would remember from all of it? Just this fleeting, lightning flash of FEELING. Palpable. Taste-able.
And do you cry and wish to return to feeling like a hippie girl dancing and falling and high, but never really high?
Or you realize that you've felt this way the whole time... always had this sense of not being 'present'.?
That this is life. And growing old doesn't sound so bad if all of the beauty of it continues to flash and spark and undulate through the wave that is my thoughts.

Friday, March 2, 2012

hydrogen peroxide.

So. My babychild jiggly- pumpkin-pants-puff-face is having her lady time right now. And if you know anything about the woman cycle of any animal, its not pretty.
She's left little spots on the couch and the comforter and the sheets and the jackets of mine that she likes to sit on. (it sounds more horrific than it is). Anyway. Obviously the spots can't stay. I'd like to say they add character and whatever to my little house. but no. its gross.
So, after trying plenty of concoctions bought at the local grocery store made for stain removal and whatnot, and nothing worked, I did research.
Turns out, soaking spots in hydrogen peroxide gets it out! I left them over night, and woke up to cleanness. Its like bleach for colors and it kills germs.
I bought the biggest bottle at the grocery store for $1.

Other household uses for the stuff:
-Mouthwash (apparently it'll help get rid of canker sores)
-As a household cleaner and antibacterial.
-Curing foot fungus?
-holding in your mouth for ten minutes to alleviate a toothache.
-hair highlights
-Use as a vegetable wash
-use it on plants and trees as a fungicide, insecticide, and weed killer.
-kills mold

There are a bunch of other things.

Thursday, March 1, 2012

thursday listday

5 things I'd like to do at work but can't.

1. With a party 8 or larger, while they order, I'd just nod my head and not write it down. When asked if I'll remember it all, nodding and smiling and saying, "of course". Then bringing everyone Bean and Cheese Burritos. While serving the plates saying, "here's your chicken fajitas, and your cheese enchilada, and your steak quesadilla..."
2. Helping myself to a couple's chips and salsa while they engage in deep conversation ignoring me.

3. While getting yelled at by an upset angry person, not agreeing, apologizing and fixing the situation, crying instead.

4. Turn the t.v. off in the bar, and just read out of the National Geographic to the guests asking for complete silence... current world events are much more important than sport events. I feel the alcohol might inspire more compassion and excitement in all causes, leading to an abrupt community change.

5. When a customer complains about a server, instead of quietly resolving the situation, I'd like to walk back into the kitchen and have a recording of plates crashing and things getting thrown and yelling and maybe a cat screeching and have the said server walk out looking scruffed up. Our customers would feel empowered.

(not all original ideas. but all very genius.)

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

My first car.

It looked similar.

A 1990 ford mustang. I remember the day my parents showed it to me. I was not yet 16, because we used this beauty to drive my permit hours to get my license.
It had a brand new navy blue paint job. My personal touch, a rainbow steering wheel cover and a hundred cinnaberry pink smellgood trees.
Things I remember about this car:
My mom in the passenger seat mad because I was always driving a little to far to the right.
Getting my driver license and taking it to school and my non licensed friends to lunch.
Getting in two car accidents at school lunch. One that was ridiculous, and kind of traumatic resulting in damage to the car. And the other that resulted a few car fender bender in which a whole bunch of people hit the car in front of them, i did not, but the car behind me did. I checked for damage, and when there was none, left the scene because I was hungry. Everyone started a rumor that I started it. Which is dumb. Everyone knows that if the person behind you hits you, its their fault. Even I knew that at 16.
Letting a stupid boy drive my car and getting it taken away.
Getting my car taken away for just about any offense.
Driving to the movie theater where I worked with my walkmen rigged tape adapter cd player. Playing Frou Frou, Lincoln Park, New found glory, incubus, creed and a number of other really cool bands.
Taking Tif and her friends to and from school.
Helping Tif and her friends evolve from Britney Spears and other really cool pop groups to my really cool bands with my walkmen rigged tape adapter cd player.
Changing the starter solenoid all by myself in the car (completely with my dad's direction.)
My dad telling me that there was a transmission leak and that I had to fill it everytime I put gas in my car.
Forgetting to fill it.
Car not going into reverse parked at the daycare that I worked at. Blown transmission.

No more car.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012


My favorite album at this moment is The Goat Rodeo Sessions. Its not really any genre. But its one of the most awesome things I've heard. It makes my heart swell so big, and #1 makes me feel like I'm running through fields in the time of Jane Austen and blowing dandelions and leaping with swishing in a long floral patterned dress and other really great stuff. I want to be in that album. Inside it.

Monday, January 9, 2012